I HAVE PROOF

You can very plainly see her manhood flapping in the wind. I hope she has a license to carry that weapon.

WTF?

Ok, pina coladas are awesome. In fact, usually anything with coconut on it is good.
Why then does coconut milk taste like piss, and the flesh part taste equally like piss?

Let's talk about Haiti

Your gonna call me a prick for this, but heres my piece on Haiti. Yes, it was a tragedy, yes it sucks, and yes I do feel bad for those who were affected by it. But I just want to make this point. We offered our total and complete support to Haiti, thats all well and good, but did anyone offer us support when the World Trade Center was bombed? No. They all said, "Oh that sucks, we will pray for you," but at the end of the day it was our own people who dug through the rubble to save other people of this nation. Haiti didnt care when we faced a disaster. Look at Katrina also, no one offered any help. Hell, we didnt even get there until it was way to late but thats a different story. My point is this, we spend tax money to send aid to those down there, so quit asking for donations, because the tax money we pay is the donation. Try spending the money here in our country, give homes to the homeless, medicine to the sick, support for orphans. Bottom line: charity begins at home.

Adam Lambert

Recently, I saw on youtube, a video of adam lambert doing a cover of Johnny Cash's ring of fire. I have to say, that as a Johnny Cash fan, he ruined the song. He flat out ruined it. He knows nothing about music, he was handed a contract, he didnt earn it. He impressed the teeny boppers of america, ooh hard to do. Thankfully, he will only have his 15 minutes of fame, he deserves much less. Especially to ruin a classic song. Also, I saw about 20 seconds of a cover he did of tears for fears, mad world. This version was actually ok I cant hate on it too bad. But did anyone ever notice that he sounds alot like the old pedophile herbert from family guy?

Kinda serious

Sorry, but I am going to be somewhat serious for a minute. Not like anyone reads this anyway but, yeah. So I've been a fan of Howard Stern for years, and after Jackie Martling left the show, Artie Lange took over. I've been a huge fan of Artie ever since. Well recently, it came out in the news that Artie attempted suicide by stabbing himself nine times. He survived luckily. This sucks, because Artie is a really funny guy, he just has alot of troubles like most of do. I hope he gets over this and gets himself healthy again. Thats my word.

Why so much weiner?

My last post kinda brings me to this post. And basically, it is a simple question. My question is this; why will they show a mans penis in a movie, but they will not show a vagina? Its a good question. Im sure you have watched a movie and boom! weiner, you say to yourself, "oh man that sucks, I dont want to see a weiner." How many times have you watched a movie and saw a vagina? I mean the entire vagina, not just a girl standing there with no bottom on? Exactly. Hollywood shows too much dong, not enough vag. What a world.

Watchmen

I know this is an old movie, but I just started this blog and I need to go on a rant about it. Watchmen, good enough movie, a little long. Its from some comic, I dont know anything about this particular comic, but it was an alright movie. My complaint is this--you have an extremely powerful guy that glows blue and can do all kinds of shit with his mind. He doesn't want to wear a uniform, fine I understand. I know he's so powerful, he can wear whatever the hell he wants. Ok, I understand. But for the love of god, when you are making the movie, dont say, "hey lets make him have no clothes whatsoever." Why would you take extra time to include his glowing blue penis, when you could just as easily cover it up. He is a cartoon glowing thing. Why is it necessary to show his penis? Not needed at all. Next time, please give him some clothes. Every superhero needs a uniform. Even he-man covered his johnson, although barely, but it was covered. Less glowing blue dong, more underwear.

I realize

Looking back on the few posts I have had in the past, I realize that no one reads this blog. In fact, I would go so far as to say I am the only one who reads this blog. I guess that is ok, since no one will find this stuff mildly entertaining anyway. But there may be hope for it yet, there is an unhappy dude in all of us. So I guess for now, this picture just about sums up my feelings.

The cleveland show

Those of you who watch the sunday night lineup on fox will know of the cleveland show. It is a 30 minute abomination that was spawned from the hilarious family guy series. Why the hell would you make a show about Cleveland? The obvious choice would be to do a show about Quagmire. Duh. What the hell were you people smoking when you decided to give Cleveland a show? Probably the same shit they were smoking when they decided to put american dad on the air. What a stupid show. The only time I laughed during that show is when I looked down at a penis and realized what a funny joke it is. The only time. The kids are annoying, the girlfriend sucks, and his friends are absolutely stupid as hell. You would think a talking bear would be funny. But no, they had to create the only unfunny talking bear in the world. Even teddy ruxpin was funnier that him. Gummi bears are funnier than him. Take this crap off the air please! For the love of humor, and to save the good name of whoever that guy is that created family guy.

You and me both, little man.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Isnt that precious? Ok, back to hating everything.

Update

Ok, so I did some reasearch. I found out Lady gaga is/was a tranny. So to answer the question America wants to know...Yes she/he/it is a transgendered person. Like I suspected. So I would like to withdraw my earlier statement that I would make love to her nether regions. This was said when I beleived her to be a female. Now, no I wouldnt put my hang dang in her. It. Whatever. I miss the good old days when a dude was a dude, a chick was a chick, and there was no confusion as to wether or not you could bang someone. Parents; make the choice at birth. This is why we shouldnt have fertilization drugs, now freaks like lady gaga can walk around and confuse us with their tits and penis. What a world. Now I cannot poke poke poke poke her face. Because she is a man, man.

Going gaga

Lady Gaga, we've all heard the name and saw the awful things she wears. This is why I hate fashion, but we will discuss that later. Anywho, I'm having trouble figuring this chick out. Now needless to say, I think her music is complete garbage. That being said, what is the deal? I see certain pictures of her and I think "you know, she doesn't look too bad," but then I see other pictures of her and I say damn she is one ugly circus freak. So, if anyone ever reads this, please tell me, is she hot? Is she even fuckable? I dont know right now, so I make no claims to her hotness. Would I fuck her? Duh. Of course I would give her the craziest 4 minutes of her half ugly half pretty life.

But there is another point that I have to touch on. That is, is she actually a shemale/tranny/hermaphrodite? And maybe this is the reason why most people dont find her attractive. I need opinions.

Some wisdom for you, Ms. Lady-- you would possibly look alot better if you would stop dressing like a fucking clown. You are not edgy and fashionable, you are a flash in the pan pop star who is half way thru her 15 minutes of fame.

Unhappy dude has spoken.

Funniest lolcat ever

Thought I would share. Lucky cat.

10 years ago...

Its been a long decade, 10 years to be exact. But I ask you, has anything really changed these past 10 years? Lets review

people still cant drive
people are still assholes
hot women will not bang you
the women that will bang you, have banged everybody else already
your penis is the same size
stuff is still too expensive
simpsons is still on the air (yay!...I guess)
you still dont get paid enough
the pulling out method still doesnt work like its supposed to

None of these things have changed, but some have.
What has gotten worse?

The new generation of boys are dressing more and more feminine
The new generation of girls are dressing more and more like whores
New music for the most part is awful
Finding a job is much harder
Television flat out sucks now

What has gotten better?

New and better over the counter medicines to take in abundance so you can hallucinate and or fall asleep at any given moment.
The quality of dvd porn as compared to vhs porn is greatly improved.
So has the overall looks of the women in said films.

That is all

Suck this

So the new year is officially here. Why didnt Y2k ever happen? If it had, at least something would be different, same ball, different year, same outcome, same hangover. Same shit, different day. Some facts to bring you down in the new year--
1. unemployment is still the highest its been in ten years.
2. the president still has yet to do anything
3. the next year will come quicker than this one did
4. you will be yet another year older when the next new year comes
5. nothing will have changed by the next new year
6.You still have to look at yourself in the mirror and realize all your regrets, the new year wont wash them away, no matter how hard you wish it would.

Happy new years fuckers.

Everything sucks, an introduction

Hello and welcome the offical blog of Unhappy Dude. The thoughts of an unhappy prick. The random thoughts of an unhappy prick. A blog for the unhappy prick in all of us. I will offer stories, they may be funny, sad, pathetic, whatever. And even tips for those less fortunate then me (poor bastards.) For example, next time you feel lonely, sit on your left hand for 10 minutes, wait til it falls asleep, then wack off with no feeling in your hand. It will feel like someone else is jerking your penis off. This is why its called the stranger. Some of you may have heard of this tactic, but have you tried it? Its the new year, get out there and jerk off in new ways.


Til next time,
Mr. Unhappy Dude